Ever got into an argument
with an opposite gender?
Yes, the war between men and
women is inevitable. The saying, “Men are from mars and women from venus”, is
true. I know most of us have read the wonderful work by John Gray, but still
the whole idea of writing the book is perplexing. I personally think that the
aim of writing this book was to resolve the mystery and tie the loose threads
together so that the understanding between men and women improves and both try
on placing each other on equal pedestal. But no! The pride, the ego and the
race to become superior is more important than cherishing the differences and
living with them.
Men love spotlight. They
love when their abilities get appreciated or recognised. As for their
relationship with women, they want women to depend on them and acknowledge
their presence, everytime. Women are completely opposite though. They want
their feelings to be understood and appreciated. It is important to realize
that men and women have extremely reciprocal behaviours and preferences. When
exposed to problems, men tend to become mute and work with their mind to sort
out the problems. Women, on the other hand, are vulnerable. Come hell or high
water, they will get the problem sorted, but for that they need to communicate
and help others to figure out a way for them. Talking of language, men prefer
talking in very literal terms that are rarely understood by women. They prefer
sorting their thoughts and organizing them, before actually putting them into
words. On the contrary, women, when in a difficult plight, possess the nature
of sorting out their thoughts simultaneously while communicating.
The crux of the matter is
that women are emotional, inside out. Men, like rubber bands, tend to relapse
into their solitary phase (the so called “space in a relationship”) and then
spring back to being their normal selves. Unlike them, women are like waves.
They have their own crests and troughs of happiness and sadness. When they
think it is time for emotional cleansing, they cry bloody murder and even
develop swollen eyes. But when they are happy, they are full of the joys of the
spring. Therefore, the communication between the two creations is the key to a
good and long lasting relationship. Verbal attacks are the most destructive
ones and should be avoided wherever and whenever possible. It is essential to
realize that winning an argument, even if the partner’s views remain unchanged,
is more of a hollow victory. And thus, the only solution that I can think of is
that during an argument, men should avoid getting defensive and try to lend an
ear to what is being said and women, on their part, should work upon expressing
their problem without criticizing their partner.
Long story cut short, like
apples and oranges, men and women are completely different. They cannot be
weighed together. They think differently, have varied perspectives and also
have different preferences. The best can be reflected when both sides decide to
accept each other and give equal respect.
PS: This is just a theoretical
concept. I myself cannot abstain from getting into an argument and striving
to win everytime (grin).
